Thursday, October 2, 2008

Kicked out of the first joint, but escaped with two stern warnings at the second...


So, Yeah, it was one of THOSE nights. Started off pretty innocently enough with drinks at Kira's (upper right) house where I was introduced to the latest drink fad, "The Skinny Bitch". All it is really, is just a diet coke and vanilla vodka, but apparently, here in LA, it's the new Cosmo. (Tell all your friends, be the first one on your block to bring one home) More than a couple of skinny bitches later, we (all seven of us) piled into my station wagon (I'm telling you, the chicks really dig station wagons, it must be some kind of inner latent suburban mom recessive gene that all females carry) and headed over to some comedy club where we had comp passes.
Here's the tame and composed part of the crew, at the bar where the more rowdy members of our party managed to be refused service before even getting into the main room for the act. It led to some raised voices and a brief incident involving the shoving of a glass rack, but nothing too substantial...
Of course, this scrutiny and malicious treatment extended into the main auditorium where we (or should I say, certain members of our party) were warned once or twice about volume and responses to the comedian on stage, resulting in our early departure, avec multiple security guard escort, from the premises.
I stayed behind to deal with management and our bill. And then, had the pleasure of dealing with LAPD, while everybody else either dove headfirst into bushes or attempted to restrain wildly flailing purse spikers. Side note here, it was a sight to be seen, I'm not kidding this chick was indisciriminantly batting her purse around like a grandma of 12 on a family vacation, best of all was her TO impersonation in the end zone. But I digress, seeing as I had steered away from the copious amounts of "Skinny Bitches" being poured that evening, I was the obvious choice for the job of maintaining some kind of composure.


Fast forward to this, us outside discussing where to go next, and whether there were biased actions perpetrated on us because there was some girl on girl kissy action taking place amongst our ranks ala the recent Texas, I kissed a girl and I liked it scandal. Personally, I'm of the belief that it was just a classic case of overreaction on the part of the management. No harm, no foul.


In all fairness however, we may have been a touch rowdy. This gal sure loves her some "Skinny Bitches" I tell you what...


Here we are, kicking it at our next location where the combination of volume, attrocious language, and lewd and lachivous dancing on tabletops and windowsills led to some more appeals of, "Hey come on guys, you've really gotta cut that out"


Nota bene: dancing on table tops in heels also leads to some absolutely spectacular ass plants...


It was a fun crew though, and I couldn't decide whether we looked more like an ipod ad or an episode of Latina def comedy jam.



As an encore, the ladies decided to all leave the restaurant wearing napkins on their heads. I found one in my car the next morning.
But wait, there's more- As an added bonus, back at Kira's house, after most people left, some impromtu belly dancing lessons began to take place. This is the pg-13 version, it soon degenerated into rap video rump shaking. I can't show you that one if I ever expect to get invited back.

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