Kate had the audacity of accusing me of less than perfect aim while in her commode. Seeing as my slight stature, and other laudable natural endowments, (which don't need to be mentioned here in such a public forum) make missing the target a practical improbability, I was clearly not the culprit. In addition, I pointed out to her, that her pissoir was clearly not meant for men, as the seat slammed down on one's aforementioned magnificent member at every opportunity and required constant attention to be kept in the upright position (the seat, not the member) as evidenced by Photograph A.
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